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8 Balls and you’re out! - A blagh by an unemployed wiffleball pitcher - Issue #1

Written by Brian Ford - Posted 2010-04-30 04:25 in Blog

About the Author: Brian Ford is the knuckleballer for Scared Hitless, a former Cy Young Award Winner, and as an accounting professional single handily caused the economic collapse of 2008.

My Sunday starts off like most others of the Potomac Wiffleball League. I wake up to Garry Glitter’s Rock and Roll Part 2 and stand naked in front of the full length mirror and take 30 giant cuts with the small yellow bat . “Today, Phordy is going deep.” I drop to my hands and feet and do a few pushups…but only a few, because I, like most PWL players, am on the downside of my athletic career. But today is our chance to make something happen. On Sundays, every player can feel excited for a chance to hit a home run, be part of a no hitter, or even have a great bat and get a nomination and a win for Player of the Week…like I did the first 2 weeks.

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How the PWL Stars Spent Their Day Off

Written by Nick DiCrosta - Posted 2010-04-26 20:30 in Blog

About the Author: Nick DiCrosta is a PWL legend and certainly would have two World Series rings if only he hadn’t been out of town during the Summer of 2008 series.

• Brian Ford / Tony Ragano: Drank entire handle of Captain Morgan. Watched “Ghost” on TBS. Teared up a little at the end before quickly changing the channel to NFL draft coverage
• Blandsford Barnburners (entire team): Practiced. For 9 hours. Pledged Omega Theta Pi fraternity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdFLPn30dvQ
• Andrew Martin: Put finishing touches on 38 page paper comparing the first and third treatises of Nietzsche’s “On the Genealogy of Morality,” before putting finishing touches on 30 pack of Natty Light
• Matt Dreyfus: Flew to San Diego for book signing of his latest work, “Wiffleball: I like to Hit Home Runs.” Got into shoving match with paparazzi.
• Brosephorous Rex (entire team) Bought and listened to Lady Gaga’s “The Fame Monster” on itunes, looking for good songs to put on their “now batting” mix
• Kathryn Poindexter: Drew up 45 inning gameplan for how to beat the Barnburners
• Brian Clapp: In what was described as “the best day of [his] life,” Brian Clapp leveled up from a level 37 to level 38 Paladin in World of Warcraft.
• Kris Garcia: Ordered another shot of whiskey and told no one in particular for the 12th time, “I had the best left-handed swing you’d ever seen!” Hiccuped, fell off of barstool.
• Mike Lemaire: Added “Hit .350 in JV baseball” to his Match.com profile. Waited for the chicks to start emailin’.
• Alex Filides: Details are hazy, but we’re sure that somewhere, somehow, he found something to gripe about.
• Commissioner Gallaway: Returned rental van. Looked at pictures of Steven Zigmund. Sighed often and audibly.

A Different Taste of Wiffleball

Written by Jon Dingledine - Posted 2010-04-26 16:46 in Blog

About the Author: Jon Dingledine is the Vice President of the Buzzard’s Glory Board of Regents.

In my first guest blog for the Potomac Wiffleball League, I would like to introduce our tournament, the Buzzard’s Glory Wiffleball Tournament, to all of you wiffleball enthusiasts. Our double-elimination tournament, based out of Coldwater, OH, is entering its 10th year. We currently have 13, 3-man teams battling it out each summer for the coveted Mullany Cup.

Our game, is played a lot like baseball, with some rule adjustments. We do allow “juicing”, by taping the WIFFLE ball with duct tape, and cutting out the holes. We also “juice” the bats with duct tape. Basically, our tournament believes that “Chicks Dig the Long Ball”.

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National Rankings Feature PWL

Written by TWIF - Posted 2010-04-19 15:17 in Blog

The National Wiffle League Association, (an organization we previously admitted not knowing anything about, and that hasn’t changed), who produces the National Wiffleball Rankings ( nationalwiffleballrankings.com ) are closely following the PWL. The rankings follow 20 active leagues and feature seven historical leagues.

• Previous Article about 2009 Final Rankings: Unknown Group with Outdated National Rankings Recognizes PWL Teams

Their most recent (Week 3 for them) rankings are up, and feature four PWL teams in their top 50. They include games through Week 1 only. Several PWL teams have appeared in the pre-season through current rankings.

Current Rankings

• #25 Blandsford Barnburners
• #32 Brosephorous Rex
• #43 Scared Hitless
• #46 Masterbatters

The Barnburners have previously been ranked as high as #10.

Tony Ragano of Clubber Lang also won the Wiffy Award for Character of the Year in 2009. 2009 Wiffy Awards The Washington Post article that clearly won Tony the award is featured on the sites In the Media section.

Commish's Predictions: Season X

Written by TWIF - Posted 2010-04-14 00:54 in Blog

Week 1 is behind us, the stats have been crunched, the videos reviewed. Some teams under-performed. Some over-performed. The standings after just 14% of the games have been played can be misleading. However, that’s more than enough time for the Commish to pass judgment on what the season is shaping up to look like. They say that Branch Rickey, who revolutionized baseball, twice, was better than anyone else at putting a dollar sign on the muscle. In the PWL, Commissioner Gallaway knows how to pick winners, having won the World Series five out of the nine times it has been contested.

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Summer 2009 Part Deux - DCS Rematches

Written by TWIF - Posted 2010-04-09 14:25 in Blog

It looks like the HD camera will be on the Red field this week as two re-matches from the Summer 2009 playoffs kick off the first week games.

At 11:30 am the Canvassers play Alcoholics Anonymous. The same teams were scheduled to play in the Eastern Divison Championship last season, but AA couldn’t field a team, and the Canvassers took the forfeit and went on to win the World Series.

Right after that the Western Division Championship is re-visited as Brosephorous Rex (formerly Flaglove) takes on Clubber Lang. This is the match-up Tony Ragano has been telling everyone about for five months, and his therapist says with the new strike board, he’s cleared to pitch.

To Strike or Not To Strike

Written by TWIF - Posted 2010-04-05 20:09 in Blog

UPDATED

Three weekends of testing, including six pre-season games, and now it’s in the managers’ hands to determine if we’ll have a strike board for the Spring 2010 season.

There are currently 11 teams signed up, and the Commissioner is expecting a 12th team to perfectly balance the league. If that’s the case, 9 of the 12 managers (2/3) must vote to change the rules. However, as of Spring Training, only 8 of the 11 teams signed up had the required four minimum registered players to get to vote on the rules changes. If that’s still the case Thursday night when the managers meet, it will take 6 of the 8 managers to vote for the change.

Teams Publicly In Favor of the Current Strike Board Proposal

1. Blandsford Barnburners (currently no vote)
2. Brosephorous Rex
3. Canvassers
4. Clubber Lang (currently no vote)
5. Mr. Party’s Waddle (currently no vote)
6. Rossi Posse
7. Scared Hitless

The Commissioner has proposed a 20” by 30” strike board, located 2’ behind home plate, and 10” off the ground. The maximum pitch speed would be 27 MPH for a called strike. In order to balance this new strike board out for the hitters, if a pitcher threw 4 consecutive pitches that didn’t get swung at and missed the board, they’d get a warning. A second violation and they would be removed as pitcher.

Read the full proposal, as well as some frequently asked questions:

• Proposed Rules Changes – Strike Board [ pdf ]
• Frequently Asked Questions about the Strike Board Rules [ pdf ]

What do you think? Share you thoughts in the comments, and vote in our first poll of the season.

Are you in favor of the current Strike Board/Speed Limit proposal?
Yes - pass it nowKinda - I'm for the Strike Board, but not the whole proposalNot Sure - I'm not good at changeNo - It will destroy wiffleball and mankindWhat's a Strike Board?total_votes: 39

Bracketology: London Style

Written by Chris Gallaway - Posted 2009-10-11 21:18 in Blog

Let me start by saying I love the London Wiffleball Tournament and I’m going to keep bringing teams as long as I’m able to do so. I like Brian Wheeler and the guys on the Reds, and I know they do a tremendous amount of work with very little support to put on the tournament every year and I’m glad they do.

I don’t want to be one of those guys that complains about things but doesn’t do anything to help fix them. I’ve been on the receiving end of those kinds of complaints too many times to not appreciate that position. That being said, I think that constructive criticism is a good thing, and people who really love things should be able to give the people who run the things they love ideas to help make it better or correct problems that they see.

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Playoffs?????

Written by Chris Gallaway - Posted 2009-09-23 23:40 in Blog

The playoff picture is usually pretty clear after Week 6, but this hasn’t been a usual season. While the Division Champions Clubber Lang and the Canvassers ran away with their titles, the two wild card spots are turning into really wild races.

Five teams are currently tied for two spots, all with .500 records. Some of that, if not all, will be settled Week 7 as four of the teams tied play each other. However, it is also putting teams like the Rough Riders in a position to play the spoiler role and help knock some teams out.

The league announced today that any ties between more than two teams would be broken with a double elimination tournament, which is going to put even more importance on not only winning Sunday, but running up the score for seeding. (Bracket if the tie breaker tourney were held today)

Here is how it breaks down:
(In order of current playoff tournament seeding based on run differential.)

• Alcoholic Anonymous – The Alcoholics upset Clubber Lang, but have given away at least four easy games. They’ll get an easy win over Balls, but Mr. Party will put up a fight, even if he can’t move because he’s plastic. OPPONENTS: Mr. Party’s Waddle and Holey Balls!
• Flea Bitten Varmits – The Varmits have been inconsistent, but a .500 record is all they have needed to stay in this mess. The Rough Riders aren’t lying down, but the Flaglove game is the must win one and is likely the difference in making it to post-season. Too bad Craig Mann can’t drive himself in every at-bat. OPPONENTS: Rough Riders and Flaglove
• Mr. Party’s Waddle – Waddle has stayed alive because every other 6-6 team has two forfeit losses. They are lucky to be in this position, and have the second toughest Week 7 schedule to overcome if they’re going to play in October. A group of penguins is called a waddle. Get it? OPPONENTS: Rough Riders and Alcoholics Anonymous
• Joe Buck Yourself – Joe Buck had a four game lead in the wild card race two weeks ago and talk was starting about their magic number. With the help of two forfeits they haven’t won a game since then and need to pull off two major upsets to see October. They had a chance to clinch a birth, even if they lost the last two games. That chance is now gone, and they draw the two best teams in the league this Sunday. Sorry guys, maybe next year. OPPONENTS: Canvassers and Clubber Lang
• Flaglove – Flaglove climbed back with important wins down the stretch, but their luck may be running out. They have to beat Flea Bitten, a team they lost to 3-1 during Week 5, to have a chance. OPPONENTS: Canvassers and Flea Bitten Varmits

Despite the last predictions not accounting for ridiculous forfeits, we’ll try again. Joe Buck and Mr. Party go home 0-2. Alcoholics get a guaranteed spot going 2-0. The rest is up to the “F” teams. If Flea Bitten Varmits beat Flaglove, it’s the Varmits and Alcoholics in the postseason and no tie breakers are necessary. If Flaglove upsets the Varmits, the two teams will meet again for a one game tie breaker to see which one of them joins the Alcoholics in post-season.

Of course, anything can happen, but Field 2 at 1:30 PM is the game we’ll be watching.

Also, even if we know who’s in, team schedules are already messing up the playoffs. We may have a Christmas World Series this year.

Steak and Egg: 5, Mr. Party’s Waddle: 0

Written by Chris Gallaway - Posted 2009-09-13 22:50 in Blog

Unless you spend a lot of time following the PWL, or happen to be a member of Mr. Party’s Waddle, you might not have noticed Sean Coakley. He hasn’t hit any home runs. He’s only batted in four runs all season. You won’t see any spectacular diving catches from him. What he does do, is get on base. Currently, he does this more than any other player in the league. Now, a batting average of .567 won’t make you the career single season batting average champion by a long shot. Long shot = 245 points. (Stephen Zigmund, .812, Summer 2007). But, leading the league in batting average isn’t something to laugh at. (Fielding…that’s what you laugh at.)

Pundits can’t help but wonder why in a critical game situation today, tied with Clubber Lang and going to extra innings, we didn’t see an at bat from the league’s leader in getting on base. After all, Coakley was at the field. In fact, he had arrived at the field two full hours before game time. Thanks to forfeits his umpiring shift and the first scheduled game turned into two hours of free time to scrimmage, take batting practice, and make a trip to local greasy spoon Steak and Egg. Spending three plus hours at the Fort and not taking a single swing of the bat isn’t the norm for league members unless they’re trolling for high school kids to pickup during the week. Is Steak and Egg to blame for him staying on the bench?

Ever since the move to Ft. Reno, Steak and Egg has claimed numerous victims of the PWL who dared to stop before their games, mostly members of the Wackazoids. This got us thinking about the other local spots that people talk about hitting for food before, or after, the games each week. What’s your favorite spot? Who knows…eventually we might even decide to be social and schedule a league happy hour some week.

(By the way, Sean, thanks again for the breakfast sandwich. It was awesome.)

What's your favorite Ft. Reno spot for food after wiffleball?
Steak and Egg (then to the bathroom)Whole Foods (then to your bank for a loan)Guapos (official Champions Dinner hosts)Popeyes (Rough Riders love that Cajun Sparkle)Chipotle (Alcoholics favorite, but where the hell is it?)Othertotal_votes: 16

Update: The “other” vote was cast for Tony’s Fish, Beer and Cigar House.