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Evidence Supports A “Wind Factor” in Wiffleball

Written by - Posted 2010-06-09 23:24 in Blog

After being convinced that the three radar guns used by the PWL all read the same speed (within a 3 MPH margin of error) when a 50 MPH tuning fork was struck, Tony Ragano determined that it must be the wind effecting his pitch speed. His “muscle memory knows exactly what a 27 MPH pitch is” (literally a direct quote, not even one we made up) so the wind became the next likely culprit. It’s long been hypothesized that the wind had some effect on the ball, but this was never accepted as a fact until Ragano approved the belief Wednesday night.

Ragano grudgingly accepted the findings, “look, I wasn’t the first guy to come up with the ‘earth is round theory’ either, but after I saw photos, I became a believer. And now, I mostly buy it. Just like with the radar guns. I didn’t believe they all read the same, and I just knew one of them was out to get me. But I’m not unreasonable, now I know that’s not true. Next thing, you’ll try to convince me some fake bones in the ground prove that Brosephorous Rexes roamed this planet before man did.”

Commissioner Gallaway granted Ragano’s request to inspect and review the strike boards and enclosed radar guns prior to the playoffs this weekend. Also in attendance were Brian Ford and Nick DiCrosta of Scared Hitless. Ms. Allison Smith joined the party and was given a brief tour of the PWL Hall of Fame which will soon be the home to the two home run balls she hit during Week 7, becoming the first female to hit two dingers.

“We have nothing to hide at the PWL. We were happy to open the doors and let Mr. Ragano determine for himself what we’ve known the entire season. The radar guns aren’t perfect, we know they have flaws. Sometimes they don’t read. Sometimes the angle of the approaching pitch effects the speed. These are issues that the present technology just can’t adjust for. But, the fact is, all three guns have the same flaws, and the flaws effect all the players fairly. There is no “bad gun”, there is no gun that is out to get Tony. It’s not perfect, but it’s fair,” Gallaway said.

DiCrosta said he has known all season that the guns don’t work 100% of the time, and that you can manipulate the way you pitch in order to get a reading based on how and where you throw the ball. He described his strategy for throwing to the strike board as “being a good pitcher”.

“If a pitcher knows that he’ll get an inside strike call from an umpire, he’s stupid not to throw that pitch,” DiCrosta said. “It’s part of the strategy of being a good pitcher. What I don’t understand is why, seven weeks ago, Tony didn’t adjust his strategy to get more strike outs instead of complaining about the strike boards. It’s almost like he wanted Andrew Martin to demolish his single season strikeout record.”

The discovery that wind has an impact on a lightweight plastic ball has led President Obama to release federal funds for an immediate study of wiffle wind dynamics. It has also led Ragano to re-examine his beliefs in creationism and that if a girl jumps up and down after sex that she can’t get pregnant.

Ragano to Galarraga: It Happened to Me Too!

Written by - Posted 2010-06-03 03:39 in Blog

Tony Ragano expressed sympathy tonight to Tiger’s Right Hander Armando Galarraga after a blown umpiring call cost him a perfect game on the final out of the game. Ragano claims to know a little bit about blown calls affecting pitching.

“Bad calls are part of the game, as much as we hate them”, Ragano said. “Just like umpire Jim Joyce blew that call, costing Armando a perfect game, the same thing has been happening to me week in and week out in the PWL from the radar guns. Without those guns screwing me, I would have like six perfect games.”

Ragano went on to admit that he understands the both the umpires and the radar guns are “human beings”, who sometimes make mistakes.

“Look, we’re not talking about some computer here with ‘Enhanced Advanced Digital Processing’, and the ‘preferred x-band Doppler Dielectric Resonator Module utilizing a state-of-art field effect transistor’. We’re talking about humans, who sometimes make bad calls, and for whom judgment plays a big part in the equation,” said Ragano.

When pressed on whether he thought that some or all of the radar guns were intentionally targeting him, over other players in the league, Ragano declined to speculate; then changed his mind.

“There is definitely something going on when all the other players in the league are getting a LOT of pitches clocked at 27 MPH and I’m not getting very many. It’s obvious the radar guns are out to get me. There is no other possible scenario, not a single situation I can think of, that would cause my pitches always read over 27 MPH, and everyone else’s pitches read under 27 MPH. It’s physics!”

When asked if maybe he was actually throwing faster than the other players in the league and that’s why his readings were always higher, he responded, “Impossible, its physics!”

Ragano later admitted that the “one radar gun that is sometimes on the Red field, but sometimes gets moved to other fields” is really the only one he has a serious problem with.

Kalama-Who?

Written by - Posted 2010-05-29 23:26 in Blog

Tempers are rising in the ongoing battle of Scared Hitless vs. Scared Hitless. Another shot was fired by the Kalamazoo Wiffle League’s Scared Hitless.

In an effort to bring peace to the wiffleball world, Commissioner Gallaway sent an open letter to the Commissioner of the Kalamazoo Wiffle League this evening. [ read the full letter ]

Archive of Posts to Date

Despite it being a valiant effort, league officials predict that it is unlikely that Commissioner Gallaway’s letter will stop either Scared Hitless from continuing to escalate this issue.


Open Letter from Commissioner Gallaway of the Potomac Wiffleball League

May 29, 2010

Brian Meyers
Commissioner
Kalamzoo Wiffle League

Commissioner Meyers:

As part of the international wiffleball community, we as Commissioners have a responsibility to ensure the best interests and highest integrity of the game…

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No Wiffleball This Sunday Giving You the DT's? Read a Book

Written by - Posted 2010-05-28 02:05 in Blog

Memorial Day is a holiday that was setup because there were no other holidays that got you a day off in May. Plus, it’s to honor our memories or something. Regardless, there is no wiffleball this week because of it.

As it happens, just when the off week hits, a new book on Wiffleball has been published to keep you busy this weekend.

You remember books right, those things you use to keep the dust off your shelves? The ones with paper. Books! Of which I have many that are leather bound. Books!

We were approached last November by the President of Wiffle Ball, Inc., David J. Mullany, himself, regarding the book and inviting us to be one of the leagues that got mentioned. The only catch, we had to fill out some bullshit Standards for Certification and agree to honor their trademark guidelines.

Look, we’d love to have a beer with Mr. Mullany, the grandson of the man who invented the ball, and who still runs the family business. We’d probably click it up to a two on the finger scale if we got a personalized tour of the factory up in Shelton, CT. But, we just can’t agree to follow some arbitrary, federally enforceable, rules and regulations about how we spell, use, or otherwise take advantage of the brand name for the product that they created, profited from, and which we love.

That’s just not how we roll. We do this for love, bitches. We don’t quibble over trademarks, lawsuits, and other nonsense. (World Series, World Series, World Series.)

It may in fact be the only “unofficial” thing about our league. But, a line has to be drawn somewhere. (Two sentences redacted due to legal advice.) We hope you feel exactly the same way and understand where we’re coming from.

Anyway, we’re still excited about the book. Order it online today, or stop by the PWL HQ to pick up your copy. I want to be on you.


From the publisher…

If you thought you knew a lot of Wiffle — just you wait.

Wiffle Ball: The Ultimate Guide — the 150-page, everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-Wiffle ball-but-were-afraid-to-ask anthology—has hit the stores.

Author and Wiffle ball brand manager, Michael Hermann, peeks behind the curtain to reveal the goings-on of the creation of our favorite American brand. He also explores the game’s most competitive leagues and most outrageous Wiffle ball fields and the personalities behind them.

You’re not alone in your love of this great game. Sharing their favorite Wiffle stories with Michael are Nick Jonas, Bob Costas, Baba Booey, Dr. J, Muggsy Bogues, Grady Sizemore, Ryan Zimmerman, and more.

If you’re looking for some How To’s, it’s in there. So is the crazy, zany science behind why a Wiffle ball Wiffles.

The book is on sale at all major bookstores and in the PWL HQ office now.

Also, find the Facebook fan page, Wiffle Ball: The Ultimate Guide

PWL Alumnus Runs and Runs

Written by - Posted 2010-05-27 21:55 in Blog

Most of the accomplishments made by PWL players and alumni happen on the field. Hitting a homer, legging out a double, or striking out a batter looking are basically the highlights in the lives of most of the players in the league. Cherish these times, people, it’s all downhill from here.

However, every once in a while, a player makes news off the field. We’re happy to bring you the story of Jeff Le, (Career .129 AVG, 3 Seasons) featured in a recent issue of Runner’s World. Jeff lost 130 pounds, ran 3:10 (this is apparently some kind of running stat, we’re guessing similar to GWRBI or WHIP) and his own mom didn’t recognize him.

The print layout features a photo from Jeff’s Rossi Posse days in the PWL.

Runners’ Weight Loss Stories
A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE
He lost 130 pounds, ran 3:10, and his own mom didn’t recognize him.

By Mike Wise
From the June 2010 issue of Runner’s World

Of all the misery Jeff Le had to deal with in March 2008—a breakup, being pick-pocketed in his Washington, D.C., neighborhood, and the death of a close family friend—suffering a relapse of malaria felt almost darkly comical. “Like, what’s next?” Le says. As the fever and chills…

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London 2010: Reseeding in Ohio

Written by - Posted 2010-05-27 01:28 in Blog

Commissioner Gallaway confirmed today the long expected decision that two PWL All Star teams will be returning to London, Ohio, this summer to represent the league at the 2010 London Wiffleball Tournament.

This will be the fourth tournament with PWL representation, and the second with two teams. The event, the largest slow-pitch wiffleball tournament in the world, will be held Saturday, July 31, 2010.

Controversy surrounded the 2009 tournament with several seeding and organizational problems that hit close to home for the Nationals and Senators, the two PWL teams. Both teams were eliminated far earlier than expected.

Initial rosters were also announced today, but may change before the bus heads out early the Friday morning before the tournament.

A shocking development announced by the Commissioner is that Stephen Zigmund, who led the Nationals in slugging and home runs in 2009, won’t be returning for the 2010 tournament. He is being replaced on the roster by Matt Dreyfus of Scared Hitless. Though, it’s unclear as of now if Dreyfus will be taking over at shortstop, or just taking Zigmund’s place on the roster.

Washington Nationals Roster Washington Senators Roster
Chris Gallaway, Manager Brian Clapp, Manager
Tony Cani (P) Colin Gannon (LF)
Matt Dreyfus Ty Fletcher (EH/OF)
Steve Dubois (EH/OF) Mike Lemaire (SS)
Ross Duenas (RF) Jack Shannon (EH)
Kris Garcia (DH/P) Jim Shannon (RF)
Joe Gortenburg (LF) Jacob Tomko (P)


Commissioner Gallaway said the circumstances leading to Zigmund coming off the roster for this year were “unavoidable” and that the parties have discussed the issue “amicably”. However, league insiders say there may be deeper issues in the Nationals clubhouse, and that Zigmund’s pending Hall of Fame nomination may be jeapordized as a result. High ranking sources who declined to be identified by name noted that the Commissioner is the most vindictive person in the world and never forgets or forgives the slighest transgression or disappointment.

Past London Stories

The Battle of Scared Hitless

Written by - Posted 2010-05-25 19:10 in Blog

About the Author: Nick DiCrosta is a PWL legend and certainly would have two World Series rings if only he hadn’t been out of town during the Summer of 2008 series.

I believe it was after only one of Anthony Ragano’s delicious Miller Lites when I declared in a loud, clear voice for all to hear that Stats Stenson needs to get kicked in the ballz for his habit of posting national rankings based on…well, we don’t really know what. We all agree upon this, yes?

I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I didn’t occasionally peek at the completely arbitrary rankings. Not that I need that kind of validation or anything—no, I just like to have something to talk smack to Tomko on Sundays.

My bone to pick this week isn’t with the Statsman, but his fellow National Wiffleball Association writer Elvis Morales and this article. Apparently, another group of supposed wifflers led by some Ginger kid think they’re clever calling themselves Scared Hitless. This other Scared Hitless wants to copyright the name and on the safety of the KWL website actually go so far as to call for our disbanding.

Never mind that this is our 4th season together and it’s their first. Put aside the fact that we’ve been referenced in one of the nation’s most respected journalistic publications not once, but twice. Forget that the best pitcher and hitter in their league is A GIRL (albeit a cute one…call me, Mellissa!) and their mascot is a Unicorn. If I had read any of the lame Harry Potter books I’d be sure to have a comment about that.

Nope, none of that is important. This calls for a truly futile and stupid gesture on somebody’s part…and we’re just the guys to do it. So, imposter cough, excuse me, “other” Scared Hitless, we accept your challenge. We’ll give you three choices: a duel to the death at dawn, a three game series with mutually agreed upon rules, or if you so choose, proximity mines in the temple. We’re gonna make Bring it On look like Bring it On: All or Nothing.

The Spring Fall Classic

Written by - Posted 2010-05-20 02:42 in Blog

The World Series is always called the fall classic. Does it matter that for this season it’s in Spring, not fall, or even dangerously close to Summer? We don’t think so. But, since we have two seasons a year, we probably ought to get around to thinking of something better to call the pinnacle of the post-season that’s a little easier to understand than the Spring Fall Classic.

Regardless of what we call it, only two teams are going to be in it. And, only four are even going to get a shot at it when the dust settles on Week 7. Most likely, the four teams moving on to the post season are already set.

Let’s break down where we are, and what’s likely to happen.

  • Brosephorous Rex is sitting at the #1 overall seed right now…

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8 Balls and you’re out! - A blagh by an unemployed wiffleball pitcher - Issue #2

Written by - Posted 2010-05-14 03:20 in Blog

The world turned upside-down last Sunday. Not because of another record breaking extra inning game with Clubber Lang and Alcoholics Anonymous on the green field, but because the Blandsford Barnburners dropped not one, but two important games. Scared Hitless dealt the Barnburners their first, non forfeit, loss of their franchise. Jake Tomko was warned and then tossed off the mound in the first inning while their #2 Collin Gannon had his first warning in the bottom of the 1st; he was tossed out an inning later. Hitless brought the offense by putting the ball in play and creating runs on errors through the incredibly thick grass of Gravely Point. In the Barnburners second game, they played Fear and Loathing on the Base Path. Problems arose early as the Barnburners pitchers Tomko and Gannon were tossed early. F&L’s pitcher, Joe “Randy Johnson” Thaman, did not really dominate the pitching aspect, but he used his finesse to get the job done giving up one run on 6 hits and 8 K’s. The fireworks started when F&L’s big bat Marc “McGuire” Nicholson dominated on the offense going 2 for 5 with 2 dingers. “Hopefully we can get all our losses out in one weekend” stated one of the Shannon brothers who both went a total of 2 for 14 on Sunday.

The Barnburners are now 6-2 and have dropped from the first place in the central division to first place in the wild card. Brosephorous Rex is in first but it seems like anything can happen in the division as Fear and Loathing and Mr Partty’s Waggle are only…

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All Star Game, Where Art Thou?

Written by - Posted 2010-05-08 03:44 in Blog

Our very first video of a full game was the Spring 2006 All Star Game. [ 2006 Spring All Star Game Video ] That Summer, our second mid-summer classic was held, and this time we also filmed the Home Run Contest and even made a totally crappy video editing it together with music which we certainly didn’t have the rights to. [ 2006 Summer Home Run Contest ]

We only had two Divisions then, and the East played the West, with the East winning both games. The managers were the previous season’s World Series managers. Each team got to pick…


Return of the All Star Game
We must do it, just like you laid it out
54%
We must do it, let's talk format though
26%
I won't be in it, so I don't care
5%
Who cares about an All Star Game when there is oil on our beaches?
15%
total_votes: 39

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