Yosemite

Season: W-L (.PCT) 2 - 12 (.143)

Franchise: W-L (.PCT) 58 - 68 (.460)

Postseason Appearances

Postseason W-L (.PCT) 3 - 2 (.600)

Division Championship Series (2): SU15,SP16

World Series (1): SP16

World Championships

World Series (1): SP16

The Dupont Circle Jerks are back for a fifth season and look to finally get over the .500 hump. After coming tantalizingly close with a 7-7 record last spring, manager Brett Shegogue feels like he finally has a roster that can get the job done. Shegogue is quoted saying, "while we were outbid in the Miguel Cabrera sweepstakes, I'm confident that we're fielding a team with at least replacement-player talent at every position. The results will follow."

Shegogue, who has played consecutively in the first 55 games of his career, returns after representing the Jerks in last season's All Star game. Brett has been nominated twice for Player of the Week and four times for Web Gem of the Week (one win each). A .300 hitter in each of his first four seasons, Brett is coming off his best season at the plate, in which he batted .324 with 13 doubles, 4 home runs, 10 runs scored, and 8 runs driven in. Brett is also expected to be one of the top arms in the Jerks' rotation, after shouldering the bulk of the team's pitching duties last season, when he tossed 60.5 innings and struck out 57 batters on his way to posting a 1.79 ERA. Responding to criticism from the media about the 15 errors he committed over his first four seasons, Shegogue has sworn to forego his pregame Cosmopolitan cocktails.

Former Jerks manager, John Hamlett, is back for his fifth season as well. After batting .340 with 5 home runs (*one off of a girl), 10 runs scored, and 9 runs driven in during Spring 2013, Hamlett missed the final 12 games this past summer season when he moved to St. Louis to begin law school. He'll be making a triumphant return to Gravelly beginning in May. On the mound, John has posted a sub-1.00 ERA in three of the four seasons in which he has played, and leads the Jerks with 117 innings pitched, 96 strikeouts, a 1.28 ERA, and a .258 OBA for his career. John has also been nominated for the Cy Young Award (Spring 2012) and the Gold Glove Award for pitchers (Summer 2013). When asked about the .000 batting average he sported in the two games he played last summer, Hamlett declined to comment.

Tom Schwarting also returns for a fifth season, where he again hopes to replicate the success of his rookie campaign from Spring 2012, where he batted .353 with an OPS of 1.059. Last summer was somewhat of a bounce-back for Tom, who batted .265 and slugged .500, but still falls short of a true return to form. Speculation runs rampant that Tom's struggles at the plate are due to his side interest in playing soccer, a lame sport played by skinny Europeans. "Sure soccer is boring and effeminate, but what else am I going to do? I'm already caught up on New Girl," Tom was quoted as saying.

Tom Kelley is back for his fourth season. A .318 career hitter, Tom had his best season at the plate last summer when he hit .385 with 20 hits, including 5 doubles. With only 2 errors committed in his first three seasons, Tom is sure-handed in the field. When asked about his league leading 19 groundouts in spring 2013, Tom replied "f*** you John, I don't see you batting up around .400."

Andy Hill returns for his third season and looks to build upon last summer where he batted .255 with 3 doubles and 5 runs scored. "This is finally my year," Andy said. "This year I'm going to go yard. I want to beat Tom Kelley into the record books on that one."

Max Frazier is back for his second season and looks to build upon the one weekend that he showed up for last year, during which he posted a respectable .286/.429/.714 line. Upon reaching Max for comment, he replied "look I had a lot on my mind last year. Comic Con, Gangnam Style, the list goes on. This year I'll be in double digit plate appearances for sure."

Will the spring finally be the breakout season the Jerks have been searching for? "We're not here to just collect our complementary PWL t-shirts and go down as the consensus best-looking and most jacked team again. If we're not winning, then what is this all for? This year it's playoffs or bust," mused Shegogue.

Players

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  Brett Shegogue

  Manager

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  Andrew Hill

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  John Hamlett

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  Maxwell Frazier (R)

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  Thomas Kelley

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  Thomas Schwarting

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  Alton Glass (R)

  Guest

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  Christina Bumpus (R)

  Guest