Season: W-L (.PCT) 4 - 10 (.286)
Franchise: W-L (.PCT) 26 - 58 (.310)
Postseason W-L (.PCT) 1 - 2 (.333)
Division Championship Series (1): SP16
World Series (1): SP16
The Bashers enter Summer '14 with a renewed sense of purpose following a string of down seasons plagued by injury, organizational dysfunction, and crippling gastrointestinal issues. The mantra in the clubhouse this offseason has been nothing but Old-School Backyard Wiffle Principles: Throw it hard; Hit it far; Run fast; Don't Drop it; Everything is easier with a Buzz; Cleats up; Make sure plenty of babes are watching when you hit; and Maybe bring Dogs if you got one.
Spring '14 saw former RoY and Franchise Cohnerstone Alex Cohn regain his all-star status at the dish and the rubber after violating his Bashers contract and breaking his goddamned foot last year. He looks to be the Bashers Ace and lead-off man after a strong campaign last weekend in batting practice.
Manager Colton Turner returns a year wiser and in command of a nasty curveball to complement his stellar defense in the outfield and behind the strikeboard. A slight change in plate approach should foretell a return of the devastating Power Swing that FedEx mistakenly shipped to the similarly named Blansford Barnburner house three seasons ago.
Red Field Assassin Neil Kearns looks to bounce back from the arm fatigue that afflicted him as the team's #1 starter during Cohn's rehabilitation stint (painkillers) by sharpening his four-pitch arsenal and not pitching as much. The recent discovery that He Was NOT The Father and the conclusion of the accompanying lawsuit has paid dividends in the batter's box, as the visibly relieved lefty has been absolutely raking right handed pitching.
Pioneer Woman Shannon McVey is missing this season, presumed kidnapped by Injuns while skinning rabbits down by the stream for supper because she was always taking the Pioneer Woman thing too far and honestly it may have affected her Wiffle. She is no doubt memorialized in shrine form at Alex's house since they are still dating in real life I think.
In her esteemed place is rookie Sam Cable, joining the Bashers after being sent into the California desert with six other potential free agents and returning with their still-beating hearts on a rope around his neck before surviving 72 hours of Most Dangerous Game on Colton's ranch in [redacted]. Cable brings 14 years of organized baseball experience, as well as about 80 pounds and an extra foot over the recently departed McVey.
|Colton Turner||Besley Bashers||14||99||2014 SU||74||15||4||0||2||7||7||.203||.338||.541||1||1||0||22||4||26||18||13||0||0|
|Neil Kearns||Besley Bashers||12||86||2014 SU||60||14||1||0||1||5||5||.233||.300||.533||3||0||0||12||1||13||14||15||1||0|
|Alex Cohn||Besley Bashers||10||75||2014 SU||55||16||5||1||3||6||5||.291||.582||.873||1||1||0||14||3||17||8||12||0||0|
|Samuel Cable (R)||Besley Bashers||14||99||2014 SU||77||29||5||0||6||11||10||.382||.684||1.066||0||0||1||16||5||21||9||17||0||0|
|Colton Turner||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||1||1||0||0||18||3||1||0||0||1||0||0||1||0||7.00||1||0.86||.167||0.43||4.00||0.00|
|Neil Kearns||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||6||3||0||0||95||31||5||0||5||11||19||2||2||50||33.50||10||1.79||.326||0.93||4.81||3.40|
|Alex Cohn||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||7||4||0||0||115||40||4||0||10||19||20||0||5||0||37.50||19||3.04||.348||1.07||6.40||3.20|
|Samuel Cable (R)||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||0||0||0||1||47||16||4||0||4||8||11||2||2||50||16.50||7||2.55||.340||0.97||5.82||4.00|
|Colton Turner||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||1B||2.0||8||1||0||1||.500||2.00||.75|
|Colton Turner||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||C||1.0||56||39||0||0||1.000||-||4.18|
|Colton Turner||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||P||1.0||7||8||0||2||.800||5.00||6.86|
|Neil Kearns||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||1B||1.0||2||2||0||0||1.000||-||6.00|
|Neil Kearns||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||C||4.0||20||18||0||0||1.000||-||5.40|
|Neil Kearns||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||P||8.0||34||27||1||0||1.000||-||4.94|
|Alex Cohn||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||1B||2.0||14||8||2||2||.833||6.00||4.29|
|Alex Cohn||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||C||3.0||14||9||0||0||1.000||-||3.86|
|Alex Cohn||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||P||8.0||39||32||0||0||1.000||-||4.92|
|Samuel Cable (R)||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||1B||13.0||73||25||11||3||.923||13.00||2.96|
|Samuel Cable (R)||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||C||1.0||7||9||0||0||1.000||-||7.71|
|Samuel Cable (R)||Besley Bashers||2014 SU||P||4.0||17||11||0||0||1.000||-||3.88|